I can’t stop thinking about him

I am 17 years old. I fell in love with my friend who is 21 years old. We’ve been friends for many years now. He knows that I love him. I told him the year after we met for the first time. Over the years we’ve become close friends. He used to share and still shares all his problems and happiness with me. I’ve asked him to be mine many times. But he used to smile and change the topic. This year we kissed. It wasn’t filled with feelings, at least not from his side. He kissed me for my sake, because I love him. After that we kissed one more time after some days. But that day was my last meeting with him. I broke contact with him because what we did was wrong. And I didn’t want to turn my love into lust. It has been two months now but I still love him and cannot control my feelings for him. I know that if he doesn’t love me I should let it go. I cannot force him. But I’m not able to do so. Please help.
Alfia

Dear Alfia, you have become a close friend with a boy who is 21 years old, with whom you share problems and happiness. You have expressed to him the desire that he should be yours in a permanent relationship. He seems not to have made up his mind about that and he replied by smiling and changing topic. Subsequently you happened to kiss him a couple of times but from his side there was no feeling; he kissed you just for your sake. Now you have broken your contact with him because you didn`t want to turn your love into lust. After two months of silence he has not contacted you and seems unwilling to continue this relationship. You cannot force him to love you and should let him go, though you still have strong feelings for him. Time will heal the wounds of this relationship.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, has a degree in medicine and is a professional counsellor. For the last 30 years he has been providing youth with practical advice to help them tackle urgent and troubling issues.
Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

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Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, has a degree in medicine and is a professional counsellor. For the last 30 years he has been providing youth with practical advice to help them tackle urgent and troubling issues.