How can I get my old friend back?

My best friend used to be very good in studies. But now she is in bad company. I don’t have a phone and don’t need it even but my best friend and her new friends think I’m dumb because I am not active on social media. How can I get my old friend back? We’ve been best friends since four years and I can’t afford to lose her.
Aditi (12) / Jhansi

Dear Aditi,

You have had a long friendship with this person, and now she has left you for ‘bad company’ and naturally you are hurting and are very upset about it.

Sometimes, friends grow and change in different ways or make choices that take them in different directions, which may or may not be for the better. She has chosen to be with this new company and there is nothing much you can do, unless she chooses to come back.

This is a painful time for you, so support yourself and build your inner strength. Focus on your studies, hobbies, family and other friends so that you are not constantly thinking about her. I find it admirable that you know your mind and don’t need a phone and that you have so far connected with friends in person. Keep doing so — you will have richer relationships.

And, as far as what her new friends think about you — it is not really important, is it? Being on social media is a choice. And your choice is to stay away from it. Stick by what you think is right.

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.