How to win friends

Group of friends
Photo: © Hemant Mehta / 123RF Stock Photo
A lot of us roam the streets with the fear in our head concerning how other people view us. While you are worried about what people are thinking about you, there’s a high likelihood of them pondering on what you’re thinking of them! Maybe you know your flaws, maybe you don’t. But your analysis isn’t happening in one encounter. A best friend isn’t born in a day; they grow to become your confidantes over several years. You have to be brave enough to take the leap of faith knowing that someone out there will respect you for who you are and so you don’t have to be afraid of being yourself. You have to give yourself away, to get a larger and more fulfilled self back; to be a friend, because the only way to have a friend is to be one.

Be honest

You only get one chance to make a first impression. Ever so often we are overly cognizant about what people might think about us, that we begin to mind-read them and make assumptions of what they expect from us. Your friends will see right through you. There really isn’t any other way than to be transparent about who you are, how you think, and what you feel. Always be honest and don’t fake your appearance, status, likes or behaviour with them. They will pick your lies before you even say them.

Give others their best chance

You can’t have a checklist and be certain that any one person will check off all items on it. It seems natural to want to spend time with someone who has the same hobbies and background as yours. And when you see someone different you shut yourself out. It’s true that you may like the guitar and enjoy biking, while your new neighbour spends time reading and doing charity. But you need to give your friendship a chance to blossom with whatever goes into its roots. This neighbourhood acquaintance can become a good friend if only you allow the budding friendship to bloom.

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Dr Shefali Batra

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Dr Shefali Batra

Dr Shefali Batra, Psychiatrist and Cognitive Therapist, is the Founder of Mindframes and Co-founder of InnerHour. She is available at