I don’t want to hurt him

I’m 18 and in relationship with a boy for the last 8 months. He lives 60 kms away from my village. As he is working he barely gets time to talk to me. I want him to spare more time for me so that I can feel loved but he is unable to do so. That’s why I’m not happy with him and want to break up but he is already brokenhearted and has told me that if I leave him he will go mad. I don’t want to hurt him. What should I do?
Veera (18)

Dear Veera, you are in a relationship with a boy who is working and busy with his duty. I am sure that his parents are happy with him because he works to help the family. The fact that he lives 60 kms away from your village makes it more difficult for him to meet you. The only person who is not happy is you, because you “want him to spare more time” with you so that you “can feel loved”. Remember that the quantity of time spent together is not as important as the quality of your relationship. Sharing in depth and caring for each other for a limited period of time whenever possible is more important than chatting for a long time on unnecessary issues. Would you be happier with a boy who spends a lot of time with you because he does not care for his duties or family problems? If it is true that you “don’t want to hurt him” plan with him carefully the time you can spend together and make him feel that you appreciate his hard work and sacrifice. If your relationship ends in marriage you will have a husband who will deeply love you and care for you and the family for the rest of his life.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD
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Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, has a degree in medicine and is a professional counsellor. For the last 30 years he has been providing youth with practical advice to help them tackle urgent and troubling issues.