I keep thinking about her problem

I’m very depressed and sad because of my friend. She broke up with her boyfriend and has changed a lot. She doesn’t talk to anyone in our school now. No one wants to talk to her. She was a very good student but after the break-up she is not interested in studies. I have many friends, but she is my best friend. I keep thinking about her problem and a way to solve it due to which I am not able to concentrate on my studies. Please help us.
Dina (17)

Dear Dina, I appreciate your desire to help a friend who is going through a difficult moment, yet, you should realize that solving her problem is not in your hands because of your lack of experience. Getting too closely involved in other people’s problems to the point of not being able to concentrate on your studies is only going to make things worse for you and for her. First of all, she did not ask for your help to solve her problem; in fact she “doesn’t talk to anyone” in the school and “is not interested in studies”. She seems to want to be left in peace; respect her feelings. Her teachers are upset and her family members will also come to understand from her poor performance, that something is wrong with her and will help her.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD
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Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, has a degree in medicine and is a professional counsellor. For the last 30 years he has been providing youth with practical advice to help them tackle urgent and troubling issues.