I want to take revenge on them

I always try to do good and help everyone I meet and whom I am friendly with. But with the passage of time some of these “friendly” people backstab me by taking advantage of my helpful nature. Some people do such wrong things that I want to take revenge on them.

Dear Sana,

Looks like you give a lot of your time and energy to help others, and it hurts you badly enough to want to ‘take revenge’ when they ‘backstab’ you.

Helping others is indeed a lovely quality and a great strength that you have. However, even good things must be done within limits. If you are always doing much more for others than for yourself, people stop respecting you and valuing you and your time. They may feel that you do not have a personality of your own. So, take a few moments to reflect on why you help others so much: Do you think they will like you more? Do you think you will make more friends that way?

Going forward, use your strength positively by helping those who genuinely need it instead of helping any and everyone. Say ‘No’ politely but firmly every now and then. A great way to channel your helping energy is by helping at an NGO, perhaps to teach younger kids or to work with animals.

Love, and value yourself equally, and you will find that people begin to love, respect and value you more!

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.