If I don’t give time to him, he may forget me

There’s a boy on Instagram whom I am addicted to. We’ve been friends since the past seven months but I recently realized that I love him. I’ve never met him but trust me, he’s a very nice and genuine guy, so there’s no worry that he’ll harm me in any way. We are connected to each other through social media. He doesn’t know about my feelings and right now, I don’t want to tell him. I forget all my worries and stress when I talk to him. The problem is that I have to appear for my boards this year, but I am always busy with my phone because I think that if he comes online and uploads something, I may miss the chance to see it. Due to this, my grades have decreased. I fear that if I stay even a minute away from the phone, I might miss something about him. In short, I am stuck between my studies and love life. I also think that if I don’t give time to him, he may forget me one day and I can’t afford to lose him. I am very confused.
Khushi (15)

Dear Khushi,

Looks like you have a ‘Fear Of Missing Out’ (FOMO) on an interaction with this guy. You are hardly likely to miss any posts from a person you are following, for social media both gives a notification for it, as well as indicates that it is unread. Also, posts remain available until the person who posts deletes them.

You also seem to consider giving your board exams as a ‘problem’ which is getting in the way of social media and relationships, instead of the other way around. Board exams come at one point of time, while a relationship can be developed over the years.

You can help yourself by making an agreement with yourself. Go online as a reward for focusing on studies. For every two hours of study, give yourself a maximum of 15 minutes on social media and then get back to studies. Or, use the clock to fix a time and duration to go on to social media and be firm with yourself to cut off when you need to.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.
Nasreen Hashambhoy

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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.