I'm always alone

I’m always alone because I have no friends. I used to have a friend but he has gone to another school. Everyone acts as if they are friends but when I ask them to sit with me they refuse me and ignore me. I don’t know how to overcome this problem.
Abhay (13)

Dear Abhay,

I am sure you miss your friend who left the school a lot. Often, when we have a close friend, we don’t pay much attention to others. Now that you are alone, it will take time to make friends with others because they already have their own friends.

Use this time to develop your own personality — develop a hobby and discover your own interests. Join a sport or a hobby class if it is possible, they are great places to make new friends.

I notice that you use the words, ‘when I ask them to sit with me’. I’m sure it must hurt when others ignore you and refuse to sit with you. However, if others feel that you have a selfish need, they will turn away or make excuses not to be with you.

How about if you ask to join a group instead? Just sit with them, listen to conversations and nod or say ‘hmm’ to indicate you are listening. Ask people about their interests so that you can get to know them better. Compliment and appreciate them. Be polite, warm and genuinely interested in others and you will find that slowly they will begin to respond to you.

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.