My mother likes my sister more than me

My mother likes my sister more than me. My sister is better in studies than me and so my mother thinks that I am jealous of my sister. But I love my sister. My mother always shouts at me for any problem. I am the elder child in the family. I don’t have any hatred towards my sister. How can I make my mother understand this?
Hilu (18)

Dear Hilu,

It sounds like you feel very upset that your mother mistakenly thinks that you are jealous of your sister and are quite convinced that your mother likes her more than she likes you.

I’m not sure what problems your mother shouts at you for… but it would be good to reflect on why she does so. Is she taking out her frustrations on you? Or are you really making her angry? Is your relationship with your sister a truly loving one?

How good is your relationship with your mother? What are the things that you and your mother share in common? How are you both different from each other? What is good in your relationship and what isn’t? What does your mother expect from you as a daughter? What are the things that you can bond over, such as cooking, fashion, television programmes and so on?

Instead of trying to convince your mother that you don’t hate your sister, reach out and build a strong relationship with both of them, and your mother will automatically be convinced.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.
Nasreen Hashambhoy

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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.