My parents' expectations are extremely high

I am a student of Class IX. I can’t concentrate on my studies. My parents’ expectations are extremely high, but this time in the examinations, due to my poor performance, their expectations have been broken. And from that time they are always poking at me, using harsh words and telling me that I can’t do anything. This makes me so depressed and also frustrated. I want to study but I can’t concentrate. Other than these family matters, I am fed up of this selfish world. Everyone is just using me for their own benefit. I think I am born to be used. Actually my problem is that I easily trust anyone. I am getting depressed day by day. I don’t have any courage to live.
Anamika (14) / Patna

Dear Anamika,

You are under a great deal of pressure, and are feeling quite hurt that your parents use harsh words. Your confidence has taken a huge hit and you feel depressed.

It is at this moment that you need to take charge of yourself and to focus on your goal, which is to make sure you learn thoroughly and feel confident.

So, here’s a simple equation in steps:

Before Exams (Clear Understanding + Learning + Memorizing + 3 × Practice) + During Exams (Recalling + Reproducing on paper) = Marks

So, Before Exams, ask for help to make sure you have clearly understood everything you need to learn, especially what is difficult. Solve practice papers/questions and find out where you made mistakes and correct them. Be firm about putting in the required study time and say ‘No’ to distractions. This will give you confidence During Exams.

Show your parents how committed you are. Share with them that you feel hurt and lose confidence when they use harsh words. Ask for their support.

When you don’t love, respect or think for yourself, you will say ‘yes’ to others easily. Know what is important to you; say ‘No’ to the rest. People will stop using you and start respecting you.

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.