I recently broke up with my boyfriend. He played a prank on me about the break-up thing and I took it way too seriously and insulted him, using many bad words. I was not myself at that time. I became very furious when he said that he was just playing with me and he only said yes to my proposal because he didn’t want to make me sad. This made me quite disappointed and we really broke up. We had been dating for two months. I miss him a lot and regret what I did. I tried asking him to patch up but he said everything is lost now and he lost all hope in me. Many guys have proposed to me but I still have feelings for this guy and I am finding it very hard to move on. He told some of his friends that he was missing me and when I asked him about it he just replied that he was having mood swings. He says he doesn’t want to patch up and it will be better for him. In spite of the break-up we are still cool; he forgave me and we chat like friends but deep down I wish we could be back together. I still have hope that things could work out again. What should I do?
Dear Kate, for the last two months you have been in a relationship with a boy and now you realize that you cannot handle it. You recently broke up with him and he with you. You reached the point of insulting him using “bad words” and becoming “very furious” with him. In spite of all this you miss him and asked him to patch up. He told you he doesn’t want to patch up and chats with you “like friends”. You are utterly confused about infatuation, friendship and true love. True love cannot be pretended or imposed on anyone; it should freely flow from the heart of people. The fact that he forgave you and behaves with you like a friend should be enough for now. Stop pretending his love and behave like a good friend respecting his freedom. If you do so, he may in future change his opinion of you and things could work out again. Concentrate now on your studies, good friendships and family relationships.