She tells me to stay away from him

I am a student of Class VIII. A ‘couple’ in my class happens to be my two best friends. While the boy is my ‘brother’ since the past five years, the girl is the first ever friend I ever made. But when I talk to him and whenever we have fun among ourselves she tells me to stay away from him. This makes me feel hurt as because of her I have to stay away from my bestie. Whenever she is with her ‘brothers’ he does not tell her to stay away from them. Because he knows the difference between a friend and a brother. Because of this my brother has not been the same. Please help me.
Shreya (13)

Dear Shreya,

You are feeling quite upset, angry and frustrated that your ‘friend’ is so insecure and jealous of your relationship with your ‘brother’.

Unfortunately, when two people enter a romantic relationship, any third person becomes somewhat of an outsider. So even though it may not be intentional, your relationship with your ‘brother’ has changed due to circumstances outside your control. While you still consider your ‘brother’ as your ‘bestie’, it won’t be the same for him. And while it may hurt for a while, the sooner you accept this, the happier will be your friendship with both of them.

A mature way to handle this situation would be to meet both of them together and to include her in your fun whenever you can. This way, you will help reduce tensions among all three. At the same time, support yourself by making new friends and deepening other existing friendships. You will emerge a stronger and happier person.

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.