She thinks of me just as a friend

I am deeply in love with a girl who is a year younger to me. I think about her every day. I even proposed to her, but she rejected it. I’ve been in love with her for more than a year. We often meet, too. Our mutual friends think that we’re perfect for each other. But, she thinks of me as just a friend. The good thing is that my feelings for her don’t affect my studies in any way. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way about any girl.
Roger (15)

Dear Roger,

Looks like you have a crush on this girl and she is quite special for you.

If she doesn’t return your feelings, there is nothing much that you can do, except enjoy your friendship, for that too is a precious relationship.

A year is a long time for one-sided feelings. While it is great that it is not getting in the way of your studies, it does take up your mind-space — time that could be spent on developing your personality, your talents and hobbies, etc. Meeting her often, and having your friends to tell you you’re ‘perfect for each other’ won’t help you to move on with your life. So, help yourself to move on. Ask your friends to stop discussing about you as “a perfect pair”, meet her less often. Make new friends, too. One day you will meet someone who will return your feelings and you will find that to be more fulfilling.

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.