Should I tell my parents about him?

I have a boyfriend. My problem is that I cannot tell this to my parents because they don’t allow me to talk to boys. What should I do — tell my parents about him or not?
Richa (13)

Dear Richa,

You are surely in a tough spot. You have spoken to this boy even though your parents ‘don’t allow’ you to… and have gone a step further and made him your boyfriend. Now, when you tell your parents, what do you think their response will be? And if you don’t tell them and they find out, do you think they would trust you at all after that?

Growing up involves becoming responsible, and communicating in a mature manner. Before taking such a big step, it would have been nice to understand why your parents have put a restriction on your talking to boys. Is it to protect you? Is it to enable you to focus on studies? It would be great if you first build a relationship of mutual understanding and trust with your parents before you seek an outside relationship.

In our culture, it is with good reason that we focus on different goals for different stages of life. This is your age of being a student, enjoying friendships and having fun crushes. So, how about keeping this ‘boy’ a ‘friend’ till you’re older and can naturally and comfortably introduce whoever will be ‘the special person in your life’ to your parents?

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.