Shut up, when others grieve!

Two friends sitting together at sunset

ROBERT CLEMENTS

Yesterday I went to the home of a friend who had lost her father. I sat in silence and let her cry.

One of the silliest things I have seen at a funeral is someone going across to the bereaved party, holding his or her hand and telling them not to worry, everything will be alright!

Everything will be alright?

Can you imagine what the grieved person feels when you say the death of a loved one is going to be made alright in the twinkling of an eye? So often we don’t understand how trivial we make of someone who is grieving. Sometimes instead of such ordinary words of comfort it is best we leave a grieving person without such silly words. So, how do you comfort those who mourn?

Experts tell us, among other things, to simply say, “I’m sorry” or “I love you.” Often, the less said the better, so long as you are present, you care and you listen.

American poet, Edgar Guest, told of a neighbour by the name of Jim Potter. Mr Potter ran the medical store near where Guest lived. Mostly they smiled and exchanged greetings when they happened to see one another.

One tragic night the poet’s firstborn child died. He felt overcome with grief. Several days after the death, Edgar had reason to go to the drug store run by his neighbour.

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Robert Clements

Robert Clements

Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearlyevery state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, Dubai and Pakistan and is also translated into Hindi.
Robert Clements

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About Robert Clements

Robert Clements is a journalist and newspaper columnist. With an estimated 6 million readership, Bob’s Banter is published in over 30 newspapers and magazines in nearly every state in India, as well as in the top newspapers of Bangladesh, Dubai and Pakistan and is also translated into Hindi.
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