I need someone who will understand me

I have many friends or rather people whom I can call my friends with whom I can chat for hours, have fun and do everything in the world. But that’s it. I cannot share my intimate feelings; whatever is buried deep inside my heart remains there itself. I’ve no one who I think can understand my feelings. I used to have such a friend but now she hangs out with another girl and has completely forgotten the bond we once shared and my other friends get bored when I share my views with them. Sometimes I feel that I shouldn’t think about my sadness and have fun with all my classmates, but whenever I’m alone all these feelings come out as if they were just looking for a chance! I really need someone with whom I can share my feelings, my views, someone who can actually help in the way I want, who will understand me, who doesn’t take my problem for granted. I have no one in my family or friend circle who can understand me. Whatever issue I like to talk about is not liked by my friends and vice versa. Is this a common problem faced by every teen of my age? Please help.
Sneha (14) / Odisha

Dear Sneha, I am happy to read that, “I have many friends… with whom I can chat for hours, have fun and do everything in the world”. This is what teenagers should do. Yet, you do not seem to be happy, because you miss someone with whom you can share your feelings, help in the way you want and doesn’t take your problems for granted. You “used to have such a friend but now she hangs out with another girl” and “other friends get bored when I share my views with them”. Besides, “whatever issue I like to talk about is not liked by my friends and vice-versa”. It is also sad to read that “I have no one in my family…. who can understand me”. The problem is that you do not trust them and expect too much from them, as you want to be understood and helped by everyone. Are you ready to do the same with others? Would you not get bored with a friend who constantly wants to pour out her “intimate feelings and whatever is buried deep inside” her heart. Friendship is a give and take relationship. At the age of 14 the answer to your problem is what you already know: “I feel that I shouldn’t think about my sadness and have fun with all my classmates”.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, has a degree in medicine and is a professional counsellor. For almost 20 years he has been providing youth with practical advice to help them tackle urgent and troubling issues.
Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

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About Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, has a degree in medicine and is a professional counsellor. For almost 20 years he has been providing youth with practical advice to help them tackle urgent and troubling issues.
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