I want to run away

I am 15 years old and I am just promoted to Std X. I’m so sorry to confess but I hate my parents. They limit me on everything. I have stopped doing everything considering that they would appreciate my efforts. I don’t play, I don’t dance, I don’t talk back to them, I don’t participate in any extracurricular activities… I even limited sketching which was once my only passion. Though they never asked for it but I never found them happy with it. I abandoned so many things. But they want marks… they want me to study, study and study. All children are different. All of them can’t be toppers. I liked studying but they put so much pressure on me that a kind of hatred is born within me. I need some freedom and if I talk about it to my parents then they just shout at me to shut me up and I can even get a slap or two so I try to be silent all the time. It’s useless to talk to my relatives. I have tried it many times but they just add fuel to the fire. I don’t share these things to my friends because I feel that they don’t care. I feel hated and I feel lonely. My worst problem is that I don’t trust anyone now. I want to run away… I want to die! What should I do?

Dear Samy, I’m sorry to read that you “hate” your parents because they limit you in everything and you have abandoned many things “though they never asked for it”. They want you to study and get good marks. Many parents feel that a good education can help their children to build a career and get a good job. Their eyes are on the future. On the contrary, at the age of 15 you are focused on experiencing and learning many things right now. Your eyes are on the present and in making new experiences. Though this situation in the family is unpleasant and sometimes painful, you should respect your parents. In their own way they love you and want you to work hard in order to build a good future. You feel that your relatives cannot help in this situation and that your friends “don’t care” and you “feel lonely”. Share your feelings and pain with someone your parents trust: a religious leader or a good school teacher who could give some advice to them on how to deal with teenagers. Be patient; in a few years, if you do well in your studies, your parents will give you the freedom you need.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD
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Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, has a degree in medicine and is a professional counsellor. For the last 30 years he has been providing youth with practical advice to help them tackle urgent and troubling issues.