“This is the worst class I have ever seen!”

“You know that feeling where you feel totally prepared for tomorrow’s exam? Me, neither!”

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Teacher: “What’s that something that you need, but can’t feel or see?”
Students in the year 2000: “Oxygen.”
Students in the year 2015: “Wi-fi!”

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How to break up
“Your ex is so attractive!”
“Which one?”
“Me… bye!”

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Girl: “Sweetie, what is this difference between ‘personal’ and ‘secret’?
Boy: “You’re my girlfriend… that’s personal. And your sister is also my girlfriend… that’s a secret!”

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During the lecture, a student suddenly left the class.
Lecturer: “Why did he leave the class?”
Student’s friend: “Sir, he has the habit of walking in his sleep!”

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A college student is not the one who reads the textbook before the exam, but the one who writes a new one during the exam.

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Two idiots are watching a cricket match. Virat Kohli hits a six.
First idiot: “Wow, what a goal!”
Second idiot: “Idiot! There are no goals here, only in cricket!”

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Raise your hand if “Get out of the classroom!” was your favourite punishment.

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Wife: “Today, I got three onions for only Rs 5!”
Husband: “Wow! How did you manage that?”
Wife: “The onionwala gave me one onion for Rs 5, I took another onion and ran away, and he threw one onion at me!”

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Final round of interviews
Interviewer: “Why should I hire you?”
Job applicant: “Because I don’t have a job!”

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That awkward moment when relatives ask you to advise your younger cousins about studies!

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Conversation on whatsapp…
Boy: “Baby, are you jealous?”
Girl: “No!”
Boy: “Baby, are you jealous?”
Girl: “No!”
Boy: “Baby, are you jealous?”
Girl: “I already told you, no!”
Boy: “Baby, can I get a kiss?”
Girl: “Go get a kiss from that stupid girl who liked your status on Facebook!”

***

Well, it’s time to put my phone down and get ready for bed… and then get into bed and pick up my phone!

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Boy (trying to make his girlfriend jealous): “Look! That girl is looking at me and smiling!”
Girlfriend: “That’s nothing. When I first saw your face I couldn’t stop laughing for three days!”

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That proud moment when… your teacher says, “This is the worst class I have ever seen!”

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Two girls were fighting. A drunkard happened to pass by.
First girl: “That drunkard is your boyfriend!”
Second girl: “No, he’s your boyfriend!”
First girl: “He’s yours!”
Second girl: “No, he’s yours!”
Drunkard: “Should I wait or go?”

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Boy: “I’m not rich like Rohit, I don’t have a big car like Rohit. But I really love you.”
Girl: “Awwwwww! I love you, too. But tell me more about Rohit.”