Yesterday, I proposed to a girl…

Me: “If I told you that I love you, I only want to know, what would you say?”
She: “I have a boyfriend.”

***

The night was dark
The moon was high
Boy stopped his bike
Girl asked ‘why’?
He came close…
She felt shy.
Then, he said: “Start pushing, heroine! Petrol’s over!”

***

Friend: “Aaaaaa cockroach!”
Me: “Relax, it’s just a cockroach.”
*The cockroach opens its wings*
Me: “Run, man, run!”

***

She: “How much do you earn?”
He: “Would you lose interest in me if I said I earn nothing?”
She: “No. Not at all, bro!”

***

Girlfriend (calls at 4 a.m.): “Are you sleeping?”
Me: “No baby, I was waiting for your call.”
Girlfriend: “Awww, really?”
Me: “No! Put the phone down and let me sleep!”

***

Timeline
Girl 1: “I lost 1 kg after the party!”
Girl 2: “Congrats!”
Inbox
Girl 2: “What, you didn’t eat anything at the party?”
Girl: “No, silly! I took off my make-up after the party!”
Normal student: Goes to college with 5 pens and returns only with 1.
Me: “Goes to college with no pens and returns with 4 pens!

***

She: “Hi!”
He: “Awww…”
She: “How are you?”
He: “Awww…”
She: “What are you doing?”
He: “Awww…”
She: “Is something wrong with you?”
He: “No, dear… just showing you how I feel when you comment ‘awww’ on all my messages.”
She: “Awwww… sorry!”
*Speechless*

***

That moment when teacher says, ““Those who want to talk can go out of class!”
And you look at your best friend and say, “Should we go out?”

***

Soul 1: “How did you die?”
Soul 2: “I froze to death, and you?”
Soul 1: “I thought my girlfriend was with another guy. I searched her house, but found no one. I felt guilty and killed myself.”
Soul 2: “Ha, ha, ha! I was in the fridge!”

***

She: lol
Me: “Why are you sending me a drawing of an Indian-style toilet?”
*Gets blocked*

***

*Girl waiting for taxi*
Me: “Can I drop you to your place?”
She: “Yes, please.”
*drives 20 kms*
She: “Thank you so much, bhaiya!”
Me: 🙁

***

Aunty: “Have you finished engineering?”
He: “Yes, aunty.”
Aunty: “So now, what’s next for you?”
He: “Regret.”

***

Yesterday, I proposed to a girl. Now I have one more sister.

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Me: “I like you. Do you like me?”
She: “No.”
Me: L
She: “You never asked me if I love you.”
Me: “Awww… do you love me?”
She: “No.”

***

Boy uploads a group DP with Mark Zuckerberg, SRK, Cristiano Ronaldo, a girl and a dinosaur.
Relatives: “Who’s that girl?”

***

A fat woman caught a thief and sat on him to stop him from running away.
She told the watchman: “Go call the police!”
Watchman: “I can’t find my shoes.”
Thief (yelling): “Take mine, but go quickly!”