I feel guilty about disobeying my parents
My relationship with my parents is in trouble due to my choice for higher studies. I want to join a particular course of my choice, but my parents feel I shouldn’t just because their plans for my future are different. I have always done what my parents have wanted me to do. But now, going against their wishes in favour of mine is making me feel guilty about disobeying my parents. How should I handle this situation?
Asmita (20)
Dear Asmita,
You are feeling guilty that you are ‘disobeying’ your parents to join a course of your choice because till now you have always obeyed them.
Like all parents, they may be thinking about economic aspects, social acceptance, where you study and work (location), and safety instead of your interests and your talent/skills. However, you are going to study and work in a particular field, so it is also important to enjoy what you do.
There are two things to do: One is to convince them — in a firm yet caring manner — that this course is really what you want to do, and how it is right for you. Second is to address their fears, if any. You could seek professional advice from a career counsellor if you wish. Do your homework about what they might want to know, e.g., detailed information about the course, career prospects, income, your interests, your talents and so on. Request that they give you a fair hearing and share your thoughts; ask for their views and suggestions and answer their questions. Assure them that you will see the course through and take responsibility for yourself.
If you are firm about what you want to do and address any fears they may have, it is more likely that your parents will understand and respect your choice. Good luck!
Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.