A bizarre feeling

I am in a perpetual cave
A cave like an impenetrable prison
A confinement full of self-hatred and despair.
Exhausted by wearing a façade of happiness
Deep down sinking in an unknown ocean
Where blackness gets darker.

Possibly no one cares
Ultimately I am just a speck in the universe
I don’t want to live long
Just till the extent I can bear.

Unable to understand this feeling
Which has been with me since a catastrophe.
Have been carrying a concealed trauma
Locked with a key
That I have swallowed.

Want to get rid of this strange feeling
Despite sorrow and immense suffering
I am living with a delusion
That the world is a blissful place.