Angry Birds!

A girl checked her boyfriend’s cell phone and found numbers of other girls saved as: New Bird, Neighbour Bird, Old Bird, Upstairs Bird, Downstairs Bird, College Bird, Supermarket Bird. Finally she checked her name and it was saved as Angry Bird!

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Teacher: “Your son has failed. Look at his marks!”
English: 20
Maths: 15
Hindi: 18
Physics: 13
Chemistry: 15
Biology: 17
Total: 98
Father: “Wow, look how well he did in Total! Who teaches that subject?”

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When someone says, “It’s so hot, yaar!”, hand them a packet of Lays chips and say, “Here, have some air!”

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Pappu was driving a car very fast.
The traffic police caught him.
Pappu: “Sir, I am learning driving.”
Police: “Without a teacher?”
Pappu: “Yes, I’m from IIN…”

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Professor: “The answer on your paper and the answer of the student in front of you are the same.”
Student: “Sir, but the question is also the same!”

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Batman is single. Nobody loves a superhero… that’s why I’m single!

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While I was studying, my mom kept calling out to me. I didn’t reply. I was deeply involved in my studies. But she kept calling out to me. I said, “Mom! Leave me alone. I have to study. Exams are near! Please, I want to study, I want to study…”
My mom slapped me and said: “Stop dreaming! Wake up and study!”

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In a 90-minute exam, the first 85 minutes are written as if on a slow internet connection and the last five minutes on a 3G connection!

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How to buy a gift for your girlfriend
1. Ask her what she wants.
2. Buy it online.
3. Enter her address.
4. Select ‘Cash on Delivery’!

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Sometimes I listen to strangers’ conversations and mentally give my opinions.

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Teacher: “How much is 5 minus 5?”
Student is quiet.
Teacher tries again: “If you had 5 idlis and I took those 5 idlis from you, what would you have left?”
Student: “Sambar and chutney.”

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IIN student… missed an important lecture because of low battery.
Wife: “Do you want dinner?”
Husband: “Sure, what are my choices?”
Wife: “Yes and no.”

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Number 1 threat: “Wait till your father gets home!”

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Boy on phone: “Hello sweetheart, I love you.”
Girl: “Really?”
Boy: “Of course! I would do anything for you!”
Girl: “Can you recharge my cell for Rs 100?”
Boy: “Sorry, sister! Wrong number!”

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Man: “My son is in medical college.”
Friend: “What exactly is he studying?”
Man: “He’s not studying; they’re studying him.”

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Give shopkeepers a rupees 10, 20, 50 or 100 note… no problem. Give them a rupees 500 or 1000 note and they immediately become CBI officers!