Chicken vocabulary
A husband and wife were quarrelling with each other. Their friend asked them what was wrong.
Wife: “I told him to upload my photo on Facebook; instead he uploaded it on Olx!”
R. Vijaya Lakshmi / Bangalore
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From the moon you can see the Great Wall of China and hear Arnab Goswami shouting, “The nation wants to know!”
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This monkey, is monkey, a monkey, good monkey, way monkey, to monkey, keep monkey, an monkey, idiot monkey, busy monkey, for monkey, 20 monkey, seconds monkey!
Now read the sentence again without the word ‘monkey’!
Dhara Kanchan / St Francis’ Convent Inter College, Jhansi
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I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated to not do anything!
Vikrant Kembhavi / R.A. Podar College, Mumbai
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A man was driving his car very fast. The traffic police caught him.
Man: “But officer, I’m learning driving!”
Police: “Without your teacher?”
Man: “Of course! It’s a correspondence course.”
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Early to bed and early to rise means that you don’t have an internet connection!
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A teacher told her students to write an essay on a cricket match.
All the students were busy writing except one boy. He wrote: Due to rain, no match!
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Corporate conference call
Caller 1: “Hi, this is Dheeraj from sales.”
* silence * all waiting others to join*
Caller 2: “Hi, this is Ajay from marketing.”
* silence * all waiting others to join*
Caller 3: “Hi, its Shyam from finance.”
* silence * all waiting others to join*
Caller 4: “Hello, Kuldeep from administration.”
* silence * all waiting others to join*
Caller 5: “Hi, this is Neha from HR.”
All:
“Hi Neha!”
“Hi Neha!”
“Hello Neha!”
“Hi Neha!”
***
They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible. I’ll soon be a genius!
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Chicken vocabulary
Father of the chicken: Chicken ka bab
Mother of chicken: Chicken kima
What happens when a chicken takes bath?: Chicken showerma
Chicken in trouble: Chicken soup
Chicken getting an injection: Chicken teeka
Chicken flattery: Butter chicken
Sweaterless chicken on a winter night: Chilly chicken
***
Difference between a Facebook and Whatsapp conversation:
On Whatsapp:
Wife: “When are you coming home? I’ve been waiting for so long!
Husband: “I don’t know. Don’t bother me! You’re always nagging!”
On Facebook:
Wife: “Dear, when will you be back? You are the best husband in the world. Miss you. Come back soon.”
(Status liked by 50 friends)
Husband: “Thanks for being there always. So lucky to have a wonderful wife like you. Will be back soon honey.
(Status liked by 75 friends, including sister-in-law and mother-in-law)
***
If you want to remove wrinkles, pimples, marks and 7 signs of skin-aging… you should try Adobe Photoshop!