I love darkness. I love it because it conceals; because in darkness, I’m no more a heavy body, an ugly face, and a broken heart; because in darkness, I’m anonymous — completely and totally unknown. No, not mysterious, because people prattle about mysteries even without solving them. I wish to be unknown. I want people to look at me and not recognize me; or even better, don’t see me at all. I want to hide, and live my own adventures with no one to answer to, no one to share my sorrows and joys with, and no one to bond with whatsoever.
Is that too much to ask for?
Yes, it is. It is, because the world is dying to point out your flaws, and pull the trigger at your most vulnerable insecurities. You’d be a lioness, full of rage and anger, but once they shoot you there, you’ll back down, because that is the failure, written all over you, enunciating the weak in you. They will mock and they will show concern, but they will never look beyond the layer flaws you have. You will let their opinion hover over you and become the ugly chaos you’ve always feared. You will crave loneliness, and when you finally create it, it would become a place you will want to stay in forever. It will bind you and set you free at the same time. You will become a recluse, and you will love being one. The dark can recreate you, make you sane again. The dark… it is a beautiful place to be.