Dear Future Self,
You could be me, ten years from now or even, ten days. Because words of comfort from your own self work better, don’t they? Maybe you are happier than I am right now. Remember this night? You couldn’t sleep because your mind was contemplating whether to get up and dance to the tunes of Balam Pichkari because, what can private dance parties not fix? Or just go, sleep, and wait for a new day. Instead you decided to write this.
Why? Because suddenly at 2:27 a.m., you were inspired. Maybe because you were pining for a conversation that could put your restless mind to sleep. Maybe because you didn’t want this night to repeat itself.
You talk to yourself every day, you say you’re beautiful because your image causes you discomfort. You say you are brilliant because if you’re not? You’ll know being yourself will never be enough. You contradict yourself every single morning to get through the day. And you know what? I’m proud of you. Maybe, you think you are lying to yourself. But no, no you’re not. This is the way you hold on to what really matters. This is how you pray.
And honestly, the little layer of fat on your stomach? It’s just the aftermath of some beautiful meals with some beautiful people. The bags under your eyes? A reminder of how hard you work. The slashes on your knee? The fossils of the trek you want to go back to. All the scars and flaws on your body and your mind are just joys that fleeted away. Your body is the suitcase full of memories you’ve always wanted.
You don’t want a normal life, do you? You want to travel, cook, eat, inspire, create and love. And you will. Even if you haven’t started yet, you will.
This is not a bucket list. This is not to show you what you couldn’t achieve. This is to show you what you can.
Some parts of your life happen and, they end. Don’t pull yourself down because they end. Everything always ends, and at some point you will, too.
People say when you are about to die, every moment of your life flashes before you. People think that those who have longer flashes have lived a better life. But then, what about the newborn who opened its eyes and saw its mother sob as the monitor beeped into silence. That’s the only part of life that flashes in front of its eyes. So is it not worth it? Are those few seconds moot? No.
I will not ask you to bungee jump off a cliff. Or even dive into waters so deep, they seem as if they were an abyss. I will not ask you to do anything. But when you do, I will be proud. I will be proud of every little achievement. I will let out a cry of joy with every compliment because, I promise you, if nobody seems proud, be sure I am.
Your partner, lover, friend and enemy.