Youth Counselling

We’re from different communities

I’m in a relationship with a guy since a year. I’m just 18 now and it could be just an infatuation and this is not the time people fall in true love which is all about trust, sacrifice, commitment and maturity and selfless care. We belong to different communities and it’s clear what might happen in the future. He’s the same age as I am and has given up drinking and smoking just for me. We really do care about each other a lot. We understand each other’s problems and make each other feel good at bad times. We fight like kids and get back together like nothing happened. We scold each other about studies and health stuff. We respect each other and feel like life is so much happier when we have each other. I don’t know if it’s love but I’m very confused. Should I continue being with him or just let him go thinking about future consequences?
Ritu / Nagpur

Dear Ritu, as you don’t know if the relationship with this boy is real “love” or “just an infatuation” I suggest that both of you keep it as a good and enriching friendship, without binding yourselves in love commitments which you may not be able to keep. The fact that you belong to different communities should make you careful and responsible as you do not live in isolation but in the context of a multi-religious, multi-cultural country like India. Did you discuss this problem seriously with each other? Try to build a common approach to this problem and adjust your relationship accordingly. You may “really feel like this is love” but your families and society may think differently and react negatively.

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Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.