Don’t let your crush, crush you!

Male with hands over heart looking at female making heart shape with her hands
Photo: © Wayhomestudio / Freepik.com

Do you recall the sweaty palms, racing heartbeat and distractibility you sensed when you simply looked at someone you desire? Did the flush of red fill your cheeks when you thought about them, hoping against hope that you cross their path somehow during the day and that they notice you? These feelings seem intense and tend to overtake you by awe. You may have dreamed or fantasized about being with this person close physically, cuddling or even kissing. Whether you got the person’s attention or not, he or she could crack your lips into an instantaneous smile. This could be a classmate, a teacher, a celebrity — actor, singer or sportsperson. You’re not a pervert for feeling like this. You’re human and you have emotions. You are allowed to have a crush. It may seem embarrassing, and psychologists find it mysterious too, but believe it or not, crushes are normal, natural and actually healthy for you.

Anthropology research scientists at Oxford University define a crush as one-sided affection or obsession. In general, the intensity of the experience of human love is unparalleled. That is why when one feels any positive feeling towards anyone so powerfully, it can get misconstrued as love, and one develops what is known as a “crush”. Crushes can be evolutionally considered as undertakings of self-love, more than adoring someone else. Which means, a crush is more about you than the object of your crush. This is easy to understand when you acknowledge what fuels your attraction for the crush.

Cover of the February 2022 issue of The Teenager Today

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Dr Shefali Batra is a Psychiatrist and Mindfulness Coach. Connect with her on Instagram @drshefalibatra and read more about her work at drshefalibatra.com.

Dr Shefali Batra

Dr Shefali Batra is a Psychiatrist and Mindfulness Coach. Connect with her on Instagram @drshefalibatra and read more about her work at drshefalibatra.com.