Funny Bone

Most embarrassing moment in an exam

A husband was shocked to read his wife’s old report card. The comment written — “Very obedient and soft spoken student”!
Mariya Taibani / Duruelo Convent High School, Mumbai

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Shortest murder story
Wife: “Are you listening?”
Husband: “No!”

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Girl: “Bobby, my heart is beating for you.”
Bobby: “That’s nothing! Once my father was beating me for you.”

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My neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30 am this morning. Can you believe that? 2.30 am! Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums!

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Girl: “Why are you following me?”
Boy: “My parents told me to always follow my dreams.”

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Three friends lived in a flat on the 30th floor. One day, since the lift wasn’t working, they decided to tell each other stories as they walked up the stairs.
The first friend told a comic story till the 15th floor, the second told an action story till the 29th floor and the third told a horror story in just 1 sentence: “I forgot the flat keys in the car.”

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Which profession does a spider take up?
Web Designing!

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Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap a person 8 times in a row!

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Facebook: Last seen 8 seconds ago
Whatsapp: Last seen 4 seconds ago
Textbook: Last seen 8 months ago

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Most embarrassing moment in an exam
When your maths teacher looks at your paper during the exam… and you don’t have the answers.

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In the examination hall
Teacher: “Why aren’t you writing anything?”
Me: “Ma’am, nothing’s coming to me.”
Teacher: “Surely, something must be coming to you.”
Me: “Yes.”
Teacher: “What?”
Me: “Tears!”

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The most common conversation on Skype is… “Can you hear me?”

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Cop: “Hello! Crime branch?
“Yes! This is Sergeant John.”
Cop: “Sir, a woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.”
Sergeant: “Have you arrested the woman?”
Cop: “No, sir. The floor is still wet!”

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Final round of interview
“Why should I hire you?”
“Because I don’t have a job!”

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What do you want to be in the future?
Vinod: “I want to be a doctor.”
Deepa: “I want to be a good mother.”
Ravi: “I want to help Deepa.”

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The night before going away on a trip… CHARGE ALL ELECTRONIC DEVICES!