4 out of 3 people struggle with Maths!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Broken pencil!
Broken pencil, who?
Never mind, it’s pointless!

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Teacher: “Did you study for the test?”
Nerds: “All week long.”
Normal people: “I read the chapter.”
Me: “What test?”
Asiya Shaikh / St Charles High School, Vakola, Mumbai

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Boy: “Dad, how did you become an engineer?”
Father: “Well, it takes brains…”
Boy: “That’s why I’m asking you!”

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Me: “I want to travel more.”
Bank account: “Like, to the park?”

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The day looked beautiful… and then they asked me to start studying.

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Boy: “Bro, why did you put lipstick on your head?”
Friend: “My mother told me to make up my mind.”

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Wikipedia: “I know everything.”
Google: “I have everything.”
Facebook: “I know everybody.”
Internet: “Without me you are nobody.”
Electricity: “All of you keep quiet!”
New way of writing answers in exams
If you don’t know the answer, then draw lines like this: ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| and write below: “Scratch here for answers”.

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Inside the exam hall
He: “Date?”
She: “No!”
He: “Today? Date?
She: “Not today, not tomorrow, not the day after, never!”
He: “Sister, what’s today’s date?”

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Study for 10 minutes. Reward yourself with 50 minute break.

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Girlfriend: “Tomorrow’s my birthday. What gift will you give me?”
Boyfriend: “What gift do you want?”
Girlfriend: “Seriously?”
Boyfriend: “Yes, of course.”
Girlfriend: “I want a ring.”
Boyfriend: “Okay, I’ll give you a ring tomorrow morning. But don’t answer! I don’t have any balance left!”

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Boy’s family: “Can your daughter cook dal?”
Girl’s family: “Can your son buy dal?”
Interviewer: “For this job, we want someone responsible.”
Applicant: “Then I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time something went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Guy: “I think I should see an eye doctor.”
Friend: “Why?”
Guy: “Because every time I open my wallet I don’t see anything.”

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4 out of 3 people struggle with Maths!

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She: “What are you doing?”
He: “Engineering.”
Friend: “What are you doing?”
He: “Wasting my parents’ money.”
Friend: “Same here.”

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Wife asks her husband to give her the newspaper.
Husband: “Technology has developed so much and you’re still asking for the newspaper? Take my iPad!”
Wife takes his iPad and kills the cockroach with it.
Husband faints.

***

Grandfather: “When I was your age, I used to take two rupees to the market and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee…”
Grandson: “Nowadays it is difficult… there are CCTV cameras everywhere.”