Boyfriend: “I love you.”
Girlfriend: “I need some space!”
Boyfriend: “I…… love…… you!”
When my teacher looks at me while giving a lecture…
How I look on the outside: “I’m focused. I understand everything.”
How I am on the inside: “Please take your eyes off me! And for God’s sake, don’t ask me any question!”
Always remember that money is not everything in life… but make sure you earn a sufficient amount before thinking such nonsense!
Girlfriend: “Last night I had a dream about you.”
Boyfriend: “What did I do in your dream?”
Girlfriend: “We were travelling by bus. Suddenly the bus lost control and fell into the river. Everyone swam to save their own lives but you were swimming and searching for someone.”
Boyfriend (with love): “I was searching for you obviously.”
Girlfriend: “Actually you were shouting, ‘Arrey! Where’s that conductor? He has to give me two rupees back!’”
Boy: “My parents told me that if I failed again in the exams, they would get me married.”
Friend: “So what preparations did you make?”
Boy: “Everything! Only my outfit for the reception is left!”
I’m all set for the exams… pen, pencil, scale, eraser… everything’s ready. Now all I have to do is study!
HR manager: “Will you be able to work under pressure?”
Candidate: “I have a girlfriend.”
HR manager: “You’re hired!”
Q. What is the gender of Maggi?
A. Male. Because Maggi gets ready in 2 minutes!
Plan A: Study the full syllabus.
Plan B: Study only the important chapters.
Plan C: Pray.
Boy: “With each and every breath I take, a girl faints.”
Girl: “Then why don’t you use some good mouthwash?”
Maths problem: Priya has 10 apples, Jiya has 15 apples and Misha has 17 apples. Calculate the total number of apples?
My answer: Where are all these girls?
Johnnie was selling parachutes.
Johnnie: “When you jump out of the plane, just press a button and you will land safely.”
Customer: “What if the parachute doesn’t open?”
Johnnie: “I’ll refund your money!”
It’s a good thing Maggi has come back… otherwise under ‘hobbies’ people would write ‘boiling water’ in place of ‘cooking’.
We all have that friend…
Before exam: “I don’t know anything.”
After exam: Gets 90% marks.
When a guy proposes to a girl, there are 5 possible answers:
3. I think of you as a friend
4. I’m engaged
5. I love someone else.
When a girl proposes to a guy, there are 5 possible answers:
1. Of course
5. Me too.