I’m 15 years old and I’ve dated a guy who is 7 years older than me. He was my friend’s cousin. It was a short-term online relationship. We never really met, but I was so in love with him. But he used to avoid my texts, and barely texted me. I told him that it doesn’t feel good when he does not reply to my messages, but he repeated it. Once, I sneaked out of school to meet him; I waited for hours but he never came. I lost my concentration on my studies. I told him that we needed a break and that we could continue after my tenth standard board exams, but he disagreed. After a few days, he started talking to me about a girl who is one of his friends. He deleted all the lovey-dovey texts he sent me; after that we broke up. But now I’m unable to get my concentration back on my studies, and I have started feeling really depressed. Please help me to get my concentration back.
The start of any relationship or friendship is always beautiful as both individuals are at their best behaviour. Judging a person on the basis of a new interaction would be inappropriate. For any online relationship, when you have hardly any or no physical interaction with a person, the chances of a friendship fading away are very high. We understand a lot about a person by observing their body language, gestures and other non-verbal clues; doing the same online is tough. To be able to concentrate better, start by focussing on a short 10-minute guided meditation video that is available online easily. Make a list of all the things that need to be completed; getting organised would keep you in check. If you are finding it difficult to concentrate academically, you can start learning the same syllabus by forming pointers in short; this would make learning easier and you can later elaborate on the same. If you feel that your mind is full of questions at this point, write them down and try to analyse the pros and cons of your thinking. This will help to give you a better perspective.
Dr Alisha Lalljee is a Psychologist (M.A.), Special Educator (M.Ed) and Psychotherapist. She holds an MBA in clinical research and hospital management. Visit her website www.alishalalljee.com