How can I get my friends back?

I had a group of friends who were very close to me but nowadays they are not speaking to me. I try my best to stay connected to them, and in touch with them, but they always ignore me. How can I get my friends back?
Aseema (14)

Dear Aseema,

Your efforts to reconnect with your friends are not working and you’re wondering what you can do to get them back. You haven’t mentioned whether something happened between you all that has made them ignore you, or whether you have just drifted apart in the lockdown period.

Whatever be the reason, you can only find out what has happened if at least one of them is willing to communicate. Any disagreement can then be resolved by talking it through and clearing the air.

Perhaps they are not quite ‘ignoring’ you and have drifted apart due to the lockdown? Where you once used to do things together, now you may hardly be meeting. People have become more focused on themselves, their problems, and their own routine. You are also at an age when everyone is focused on studies. Friends can drift apart unless there is a strong bond.

You seem to have done your best to keep in touch. And, if they do not respond, drop it for a while. Till then, spend time with yourself and develop your own personality Create new opportunities by joining some classes — discover your own talent and get to know new people. When one door closes, another opens… and patience helps.

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.