I am in class 11 and I have had a boyfriend since class 7. We both really love each other. We live in different cities now because of our studies. Due to this we spend a lot of time thinking about each other and we are not able to concentrate on our studies. We are both very good in studies but now we are getting fewer marks in our academics. Because of this we tried to break our relationship but it is very difficult for us. What should we do so that we can concentrate on our studies without ending our relationship?
Both you and your boyfriend seem to be quite discouraged about being separated from each other. From your letter, I assume that you are in touch with each other quite regularly.
Ask yourself: what is the most important thing at this moment? Is it studies? Or is it relationship? If you both do badly at academics, what will happen to your possible future together?
So, take an up-side-down view and turn a disadvantage into strength! Champion each other on instead of mooning away! Both of you can set weekly goals for your studies; then, share the goals with each other and have an agreement to focus on studies. At the end of the week, check with each other to find out whether you have achieved your study goal. If you haven’t, share ideas about how to study better and how to overcome difficulties. If you have, then you can celebrate and continue to work this way.
Love is about friendship, which is also about supporting each other to succeed. Give each other a virtual high five!
Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.