I always feel ignored and lonely in class

I am a boy studying in Class 11. I always feel ignored and lonely in class. I try to change my mind and attitudes but I don’t know the reason for this. Although I am handsome and muscular physically, I don’t have a girlfriend.
S. Joseph

Dear Joseph,

You really want to belong and make friends in your class, but don’t know how to go about it.

Perhaps people see you as aloof? Make the first move: Wear a smile and look welcoming. Greet others warmly.

Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on the other person: Ask more and tell less. They will slowly begin to know and like you and ask about you once they find you are interested in them.

Learn the art of conversation: Pick up a topic that seems to interest the other person, e.g., music and ask about the singer/group, music style, songs and what they enjoy most about it. Each response can lead to more exploration and sharing.

Be up-to-date on current topics; yet don’t hesitate to show you don’t know. It’s a great conversation starter when you say, “Hey, I don’t know much…how about telling me about it?”

People are intelligent. So it is not your looks, your physique and how you appear to others that will attract a girl or other people to you. It is the real person within.

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.