I don’t have feelings for him

My best friend of the past five years has a crush on me. I am not interested in him this way and I don’t have feelings for him. My priorities are my studies and family. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break my friendship with him.
Ronita (17)

Dear Ronita,

You are dismayed to learn that your best friend has a crush on you for you are worried that this could mean the end of your friendship.

So, if you haven’t already done so, ask for time with your friend and speak frankly with him. Gently but firmly state that you don’t reciprocate his feelings. Ask him what he would like to do. He may want to remain friends but want time off from the friendship to work through his feelings. Or he may want to end the friendship. Either way, respect his choice. And if you feel you want to end the friendship, then discuss that with your friend. He would need to respect your decision too.

Unfortunately, with his feelings for you and your relationship has already changed, and even if you don’t want to break the friendship, you need to be prepared that it may happen. This will depend on the choices you both make.

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.