It’s been three years since I’ve known a guy who became my best friend gradually. Although I’ve never met him, I know that I can trust him. For the past few months, we’ve been talking constantly, and then one day he stopped talking to me saying that he is busy with work. I’ve developed feelings for him and he said he loved me too. But since we’ve stopped talking, I feel like it was all a lie and he never loved or cared for me. I had an emotional dependency on him and I was anxiously attached to him; I always feared that he would leave me one day. Now that we’ve stopped talking, I feel anxious constantly and I am unable to move on.
I can understand how awful you must be feeling with this thought sinking into your head gradually. Humans by nature are said to be an unpredictable species; their personality is ever-changing and dynamic. The fact that you haven’t met your friend would make it even more difficult to judge him better. Always remember that we can never know a person fully, though we feel we do. Online friendships don’t always have a happy ending as you would only know how much has been told to you. Remember that in life we can never chase anyone to stay; if this is something that he has decided, that is his decision. However, being at the receiver’s end, I do not want you to ever feel inferior. As the old saying goes, “Time heals everything.” I want you to trust that this too shall pass with time. The present is going to be tough to deal with, but spending quality time with your friends and loved ones will make you feel a lot better, keep yourself distracted, pursue a hobby and set futuristic goals for yourself. This would motivate you and help you feel better too.
Dr Alisha Lalljee is a Psychologist (M.A.), Special Educator (M.Ed) and Psychotherapist. She holds an MBA in clinical research and hospital management. Visit her website www.alishalalljee.com