I am a 14-year-old girl studying in Std IX. I have an elder brother and sister. My mother is very partial; she always scolds me for my mistakes but says nothing if my sister makes similar mistakes. My brother beats me but my mother never intervenes. I suffer a lot due to this. My father is very busy with his business and I cannot bear to see him worried, so I never tell him about it. What I should do?
Do speak to your mother, and share your feelings with her. Seek her help to see what can be done to change things and ask her what she expects of you. Before that, reflect on what are the ‘mistakes’ she scolds you for. If you view ‘mistakes’ as ‘events’ to learn from, you can change the way you do things. This will not only make your mother happy, but also contribute to your personality and future success.
Make friends with your parents, even if you have some fights. Find out what your mother likes and enjoys… and see if you can do common things together. Offer to help her at home. Often when parents worry, they forget to have fun, so, with your siblings, try and create a family fun hour once a week.
As for your brother, make sure whether he is being playful or angry. The next time he comes to hit you, in firm voice say, ‘Stop. I don’t appreciate you hitting me.’ Ask him to move back and keep a safe distance, or you step back/walk off. Repeat this till he gets the message. If he is being angry or violent, it is important to ask your parents to intervene.
Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.