Youth Counselling

I feel totally messed up

I am a 14-year-old boy studying in Std IX. I was in a relationship with a girl whom I liked and loved very much. We used to chat on social media and also meet outside. One day her mother found this out. We had to break up as her parents are very angry, and don’t trust her. We still like each other; I feel totally messed up.
Sameer

Dear Sameer,

You are understandably despondent about your relationship being found out. It must have been quite a shock for both of you.

This is the time to distract your thoughts by focusing on different things. Seek support from your other buddies — they will help you to get through this difficult phase. Go out and play a team sport, if you can. Set up a routine and make sure you have enough to do. Fill your day with exercise, studies, and hobbies. Make new friends of both genders. You will find that the worst will pass quickly.

Any relationship that is kept secret risks being brought into the open suddenly. This causes much heartbreak and a loss of trust. Hence, it is always best to be open about what you do. It will take this girl time to regain her mother’s trust. With time, if it becomes possible to renew your relationship with her as a friend, then do so, openly. A friendship is a beautiful relationship and is a great foundation for your future. If you are truly meant for each other, life will surely give you the opportunity to take your relationship to the next level with the blessings of your families. If not, you will have at least gained a wonderful friend.

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Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.