Youth Counselling

I haven’t told her that I’m going away

I will be leaving my town for my final years of high school. It will be my first time away from home. I do know this is for my benefit but I can’t help but think about my best friend. We’re extremely close and she’s my only friend in town. I haven’t told her that I’m going away. What should I do?
Aadi (16)

Dear Aadi,

You sound a bit apprehensive about moving away from home for your final years of high school, despite acknowledging that it is for your benefit. It seems like you are feeling guilty that you haven’t told your best friend about it yet.

Take some time and reflect on two things:

a) How are you feeling about going away — are you happy or unhappy? Are you worried? Clarify your feelings.

b) What is stopping you from telling her about it? — Do you think she will get upset or angry with you? Do you fear your friendship may end? And she will find new friends? Do you feel bad that you’re leaving?

Ask her for her time and share the news with her. Share how you feel about going away and check in on how she is feeling too. When the time feels right, discuss the impact your move will have on your friendship and what can the both of you do about it.

Please do this as soon as possible. She will surely be shocked to hear this at the last minute or from someone else, so better tell her now than later!

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Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.