Youth Counselling

I want to be free

I’m very confused. I have a boyfriend with whom I am in a relationship for the past one year. I used to love him a lot. But I don’t know how the feelings that I had for him are fading. I don’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore. I want to be free. I talked to him about it but he loves me a lot and doesn’t want to leave me. I talked to my elder sister about it and she said to tell him clearly that I don’t want to be in a relationship with him. But he loves me a lot. I talked to him again but he was crying very badly. He said that if I leave him, he will leave the world. I don’t want to hurt him but I want my freedom as well. What should I do?
Annie

Dear Annie, after a one-year relationship with your boyfriend whom you “loved”, your “feelings are fading” and you “want to be free” as soon as possible. The problem is that he does not want to leave you to the extent that he is “crying very badly” and saying that if you “leave him he will leave the world”. Though you do not want to hurt him you absolutely want your freedom. Something went very wrong in your relationship. From your side, it was probably based on feelings and emotions rather than on a desire to commit yourself to a special and faithful relationship. Teenagers frequently call “love” what is just a passing infatuation. The consequence is a painful situation in which your boyfriend is now broken-hearted and suffering. It is your duty to enter into a patient and personal dialogue with him explaining the reasons for your decision and finding together a way out of this situation. Give him time. Shutting the door on his face is not the right thing to do.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.