I love my girlfriend even though we have broken up. I just can’t live without her. Since I came to know that she doesn’t love me anymore, I want to forget her but I am unable to do so. This is affecting my studies. What should I do in order to forget her and lead a successful life?
Subhash (17) / Siliguri
Looks like you feel much pain at breaking up with your girlfriend. It must hurt that she doesn’t love you anymore.
Firstly, be aware of and acknowledge your feelings — the hurt, sadness, and pain because you have broken up. Take time for this, for it will help you to feel calmer and more peaceful.
Imagine that you are in charge of lighting the stage of your life. What you’re doing at present is placing your ex-girlfriend at centre-stage and putting a spotlight on her. This blinds you and leaves the rest of the stage — all the other people and things present in your life — in darkness. Remember, the switch of your mind’s spotlight is in your hands. Move the spotlight onto other people and things — new friends, your studies, hobbies. Acknowledge and be grateful for whatever you have, and which brings you joy. This way, the entire stage of your life will light up!
You say you ‘just can’t live without her’, know that you are already living without her and have asked for advice on how to ‘forget her’! This shows that you have taken the first step to moving on!
Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.