I just moved schools and I’m finding it tough to adjust to new friends. I have a few friends from my previous school, but one of them is really close to me and I am scared of losing her. The people I befriended first, she gets close to, and being a very, very introverted shy person, I get left out even though I want to be friends with people. Recently, I became friends with an already established friend group, but she got close to them and now I feel left out and feel like I did something wrong and that they’re ignoring me. How do I open up to these people and be more outgoing when I can’t even introduce myself to them? I overthink a lot and that keeps me back from talking to them. So, what do I do?
S. M. (16)
I understand that you are shy and introverted, and it becomes difficult for you to make friends. I also understand that you have a very close friend that you fear losing. When we make friends, it is important that we communicate with them about how we feel. Tell her how you feel and the difficulties that you are facing in socializing and making friends. Since she is a close friend, I am sure she will understand your point of view. I would suggest that you watch certain videos on YouTube and learn how you can introduce yourself better. If you are finding it difficult to communicate and have a two-way conversation, try and listen to how people speak and how a conversation progresses. Over time you will learn the art of a two-way communication. It is also completely fine to be introverted, however, conversation-building is best learnt by being a part of a conversation and picking up cues when people speak.
Alisha Lalljee is a Psychologist (M.A.), Special Educator (M.Ed) and Psychotherapist. She holds an MBA in clinical research and hospital management. Visit her website www.alishalalljee.com