I’m a first year engineering student. I stay in a hostel. I had very good friends in intermediate who were quite supportive and accompanied me in every situation. Now my university is quite far from home and the previous intermediate college. It’s been three months since college has started; a new place and new environment with co-education. I waited patiently to make good friends. But I have only a few classmates to spend time with and they often get busy with their work. I’m becoming emotionally weak and to get over this, I try to keep myself busy but yet end up with the same feeling. I need to make myself stronger.
It seems like you are feeling lonely in your new hostel and college, and are missing your friends and family.
From what you say, I understand that your friends in Intermediate were girls, and you spent a lot of time doing things together. But, now you are in a co-ed professional college, where students do a lot of independent work and are focused on their academic, and later career goals. Three months is a short time; give yourself a few more months to adjust and feel fully settled in.
When you constantly think about what is not working, it can make you feel emotionally weak. Instead, use this time more constructively. Firstly, set yourself a routine for your studies and free time. In your free time, find out what you can do on your own — going for walks, exploring the campus or shopping areas, reading, and more.
Spend time discovering what your interests and strengths are. Your interests can help you to participate in campus activities and meet like-minded people, as well as to start up a conversation. Not having a steady group can provide an opportunity to know so many more people!
Take this time on your own as a learning opportunity which will help you become a strong, independent young woman!
Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.