My best friend doesn’t talk to me

My classmate (a girl) was a very good friend of mine. We used to spend a lot time together and were best friends. But after a few months of our friendship, other friends thought I was in a relationship with her and began teasing me about it. Now she refuses to talk to me because of these rumours. What should I do?
Ayush (15) / Allahabad

Dear Ayush,

I know that you are quite upset that your best friend refuses to talk to you. At the same time, it seems like you are feeling helpless that you could do nothing when your friends teased you.

In all friendships it is necessary to set boundaries and express what is okay and what is not. So, don’t wait… get going with some troubleshooting! Tackle your friends firmly. Tell them bluntly that it is quite okay for a boy and a girl to be friends and that you do not appreciate being teased. Let them know that you are very upset that your friendship has broken. If your friends do not respect your personal space, reflect on whether they’re actually your true friends.

Find a way to speak to your best friend. Clarify to her that you respect her and you value your friendship, and that it is others who have misinterpreted the relationship. Help her understand that for the sake of others’ teasing, it is sad that you both have sacrificed a great friendship. Also tell her that you have spoken to your friends about this.

In spite of that, if she no longer chooses to be your friend, then perhaps the bond was not strong enough to last. If she does, then great… enjoy your friendship!

Nasreen Hashambhoy
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Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.