Youth Counselling

My grandfather is very depressed

A few months ago, my grandmother passed away, and since then my grandfather has been very depressed. I try to cheer him up and make him happy, but it seems like all the happiness has vanished from his life. My family and I give him a lot of support and love, but it seems as if we are intruding in his life.
Seema (14)

Dear Seema,

You sound quite sad and at a loss about what to do for your grandfather though you are trying your best. Your grandmother’s passing away must be very difficult for your grandfather to bear because he spent many years with her. Naturally, he is full of grief. He needs the space and time to come to terms with his loss. Get him to meet your family doctor or a physician who can advise him on exercises and diet, and help monitor his health and mood progress. He might listen to the doctor more easily.

Your family can help him integrate with daily life as best as he can. Encourage him to talk about your grandmother and listen to his memories. Start engaging him in daily activities — such as laying the table, planning the menu, or organizing the shopping, etc. You can be his buddy for some time. Get him to join a yoga class if possible. Perhaps your dad can join him for some time. Slowly encourage him to meet his friends/others of his age group, if there are any close by (with all due Covid protection measures). If your family can identify any reliable support groups where people who have lost their spouses can get together, you can encourage him to join.

Give him a couple of weeks; if he still doesn’t show signs of coming out of this, seek help from a counsellor/psychotherapist in person who will help him to deal with his grief.

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.