Youth Counselling

My love for her is killing me

I met a girl on Facebook; she was from another town and really was the most awesome girl I’ve ever met. We shared our feelings, our problems and everything I could think of. And then it happened; I started loving her and wanted to get closer but she started behaving strangely, ignoring me, not talking to me the way she did before. It was like she was going away from me as fast as she came. Finally we stopped talking and she stopped using Facebook. It’s been a year and we haven’t even exchanged a formal hello, but I’m still hoping that she’ll come back. I check Facebook many times a day hoping that she’s online. I miss her a lot. She’s on my mind all the time and I can’t concentrate on anything. Sometimes I think of moving on but I can’t give up the hope that she’ll come back. It seems like every day my love for her grows and it’s killing me! I don’t know what to do.
Saurabh (16)

Dear Saurabh, you met your dream girl on Facebook, a “most awesome girl” with whom you talked and shared everything. And then it happened that you started loving her and wanted to get closer. This was not what she wanted; she got upset with your attitude and decided to cut off this relationship. She wanted a friend, not a boyfriend! Your letter is a classical example of how many teenagers get quickly carried away by emotions and sexual attraction and call it “love” when actually it is just an infatuation. The consequences of an infatuation are well described by you: “she is in my mind all the time”, “I can’t concentrate on anything”, “every day my love for her grows and it’s killing me”. Awake from your dreams, come back to reality and concentrate on your studies, family duties and good friendships.

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Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.