Never mind!
That moment when it starts raining and you run to the bed to sleep, pull on the blankets and… the rain suddenly stops!
Pratyosh Gogoi / DBHSS, Jorhat
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Galileo: Great mind
Einstein: Genius mind
Bill Gates: Brilliant mind
Me: Never mind!
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Someone messaged me “HBD, HBD, HBD” on my birthday. So I messaged him “HA, HA, HA” on his anniversary!
***
Dad: “Son, did you pass or fail?”
Son: “Why, dad?”
Dad: “Just wanted to know… accordingly I can buy a bike or an autorickshaw.”
***
Girlfriend: “Sweetie, could you please give me 15k?”
Boyfriend: “Why 15k?”
Girlfriend: “5k for my clothes, 7k for my hair and nails and 3k for my shoes.”
Boyfriend: “Aww sure, my love, here you go: k, k, k, k, k, k, k, k, k, k, k, k, k, k, k… count it, it’s complete. And take this extra 2k — k, k… that’s for your perfume!”
***
Boyfriend’s Facebook status: “Good morning, such a lovely day… I’m so happy today!”
Girlfriend commented: “Challenge accepted!”
***
A thief broke into a house.
Owner (hearing the noise): “Who’s there?”
Thief: “Meowwwww!”
Owner: “Who’s there?”
Thief: “Meowwwww!”
Owner: “I said: Who’s there?”
Thief: “Idiot! A cat… cat!”
***
A cockroach found another cockroach almost unconscious on the floor. He asked: “What happened? Hit spray or a chappal?”
The other cockroach replied: “Neither. That girl screamed so loud when she saw me that I got a heart attack!”
Johnnie had a dream in which someone murdered him. The next day he closed his bank account. Why? Because the bank’s slogan was: We make your dreams come true…!
***
Man: “I gifted my wife a diamond necklace on her birthday and she didn’t speak to me for 6 months.”
Friend: “Why? Were the diamonds fake?”
Man: “No. That was the deal!”
At a funeral, a photographer was taking shots of the dead man’s face. Suddenly all the dead man’s relatives started beating him up. Why? He said: “Smile, please!”
***
Teacher: “Why are you so late?”
Pappu: “Someone told me to go to hell.”
Teacher: “So?”
Pappu: “I couldn’t find it at first. But now I’m here!”
***
Man (to Shyam): “Your friend is kissing your girlfriend outside her home!”
Shyam rushes to his girlfriend’s home. But he comes back soon, slaps the man and says: “He’s not my friend.”
***
Man: “Hide all the expensive items in the house! My friend is coming over.”
Wife: “Why? Will he steal them?”
Man: “No, he’ll recognize them!”
***
Girl: “Why are you looking at me? Don’t you have a sister?”
Boy: “I have a sister. That’s why I’m looking at you.”
Girl: “But why?”
Boy: “Because my sister is looking for a sister-in-law!”