Youth Counselling

It’s not the same as before

I’m a 15-year-old girl in Std X. I have a boyfriend who also studies in Std X but in a different section. We were in a relationship for 4½ months. Everything wasn’t good between us; we used to fight for small reasons. So I decided to break up with him. He casually accepted that break-up. We didn’t talk to each other for 1½ months. After that I realized that it was my fault and so I patched up with him. Now we are in a relationship but everything is not the same as before. We don’t talk daily as we used to do; he doesn’t care for me the same way he used to before the break-up. It feels like our love is vanishing day by day. Sometimes I regret patching up. Besides this, there is a girl in his section who is playing the role of a “villain” in our story. Due to his changed behaviour, I’m not able to concentrate on my studies. What should I do?
Shreya

Dear Shreya, your relationship with that boy has been in trouble since the beginning: “Everything wasn’t good between us. We used to fight for small reasons”. After a break-up you restarted the relationship “but everything is not the same as before” and “it feels like our love is vanishing day by day”. You should ask yourselves what kind of relationship is going on between you two: is it friendship, infatuation or a love affair? At the age of 15 both of you lack experience and maturity in handling relationships and things are going from bad to worse. Both of you seem to be focused on oneself and fulfilling one’s own desires and imposing them on the other. True love makes people forget self and care for each other deeply. I suggest that you look at each other just as friends, not as lovers, respecting each other’s freedom. Concentrate on your studies and patiently grow in experience and maturity.

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Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD

Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.