Now I feel very guilty
I became friends on Facebook with a boy who is 17. At first, I told him for fun that I was 16 and thought that I would tell him the truth later. But as the days passed he became a very good friend and it became more and more difficult to tell him. Without me realizing it, I fell in love with him. One day he confessed that he loved me and I was so happy that I forgot everything and accepted his confession without thinking anything. Now I feel very guilty. I have decided that after passing my tenth standard I will meet him and tell him everything then. I always feel that I must tell him the truth but I fear that he will hate me after knowing the truth. But then too I have a very uneasy feeling and feel that I must tell him everything as soon as possible. I am really confused. I love him a lot and don’t want him to hate me. I think I have just two options — and that is to tell him everything now or when we meet.
Samy (14)
Dear Samy, you have started a relationship through Facebook with a boy who says he is 17. You told him for “fun” that you were 16 (2 years older than your real age). In a matter of a few days he became for you “a very good friend” and later you “fell in love with him”. Subsequently he confessed that he loved you too, believing that you were close to his age. Now you “feel very guilty” for having told a lie and not having the courage to correct the mistake as soon as possible. Do not wait to tell the truth; you cannot build a relationship on lies. Let him know your age and decide if he wants to continue corresponding with you. He too may end up confessing that he is not 17 but just 15! That would be real fun for both of you! Relationships built on personal knowledge of each other are better than those built by correspondence which can lead to lies or misunderstandings. If you cannot be a good friend with someone who is of your age and close to you, how can you do that with someone whom you do not know at all? There are dangers in social networking.
Dr Anthony Grugni, MD, was associated with The Teenager Today for nearly three decades in the capacity of youth counsellor.