She didn’t want to speak to me again

A few years ago, I fell in love with a girl of my age with whom I was friendly. One day she and her family moved to another city. After that I never met her for almost two years, till one day I connected with her on a social networking site. We became friends once again. One day I asked her whether she liked me; she got angry and didn’t want to speak to me again. I ended up firing her with bad words. Now I keep thinking about her and my studies are suffering as a result. How can I get her back or at least get peace of mind?
Rishi (16)

Dear Rishi,

Looks like you regret the way things happened with this girl and that is taking away your peace of mind.

It is okay that you expressed your feelings and asked if this girl liked you in return, but she got offended and angry. Was she overreacting? Or was it something about what you said or the way you asked? Reflect on this first. In any case, any relationship is about respecting the other person, and ‘firing with bad words’ does not show respect.

The only way forward is to apologize to her. Perhaps you can mention that while you had no intention of offending her by asking if she liked you, you are very sorry for your behaviour afterwards. Then, remember, it is her choice whether she replies to you or not, returns your feelings or not, or wants to be friends or not. So, be ready that you may or may not receive a response. Respect her choice.

And once you have apologized, whether you get her friendship back or not, you will certainly get peace of mind.

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.

Nasreen Hashambhoy

Nasreen Hashambhoy is a Counsellor, Life Coach and a Facilitator of training programmes for schools and corporates. Through a combination of coaching, counselling and facilitation techniques based on cognitive science and positive psychology, she helps clients achieve their true potential. She is the author of the series Values In Action published by Better Yourself Books.